Strangely by all social measures Andrew would be considered a very successful man. He had a family, a home and was very wealthy but he was desperately unhappy and didn't know why. So many people are looking to start a family, have a lovely home and enjoy great wealth. Andrew discovered that only one thing matters, being happy now.
Insidious beliefs are introduced, often with good intentions, by family, friends, or the culture in which we have grown, right up to this moment of discovery. This type of belief can sound caring, supportive and even empowering while carrying a hidden message (often a somatic belief of the person who introduced it) the purpose of which is to control the person or to make them happy regardless.
Bev's family belief was "Better to be lucky than rich" which at first glance, sounds supportive and empowering. Bev was conscious of saying it but unaware of the embedded unconscious message. She had developed an insidious part of the belief which was that you cannot be lucky and have money. On reflection Bev actually thought it was a bit more of a family story of why her father had never worked and spent most of his time down the betting office. Bev worked hard, deemed herself lucky but could never understand why money constantly slipped through her fingers. Going through the belief audit process she updated the belief to, "It is better to be lucky and rich".
You could spend a lifetime with insidious beliefs and not realise just how much they are controlling your behaviour.
The advice "Be careful what you ask for . . . " applies particularly to a group of beliefs that we have named Misinterpreted beliefs.
Misinterpretation can cause a belief to be developed in quite a different way from the original intention. This can happen when the surface structure of a belief is ambiguous belying the intention of the deep structure. Robert tells the story of his mother passing on her belief that "You can't beat the Bookie" which he interpreted (or, from his mother's point of view misinterpreted) by becoming the Bookie and successfully running a book at school, leaving with no A levels and three (some might say colourful) years wasted. The ramification later in life of having no qualifications he puts down to "Being a smartass" and to not trying because of the belief that you can't beat the system.
This is a rebellious misinterpretation as is often demonstrated by teenagers. The other way a belief can be misinterpreted is unconsciously.
Alice defined her own misinterpretation:
- "You're only young once".
- "You're" meant Alice specifically
- "only" made this is a limiting belief
- "young" implied that time was slipping away, it is being young that is desirable, therefore she must remain young
- "once" there wasn't going to be another chance, she felt she must ensure that she never allowed ageing to begin.
This belief, this part in her unconscious, had been dominating her reality and preventing her growing into adulthood both physically and emotionally. Alice, now in her thirties suffers anorexia. She had been eating only boiled sweets preventing her body developing into that of a woman. She has a responsible, well paid, job but lives at home with her parents, still occupying her childhood bedroom with its pastel wallpaper, dolls and soft toys. She feels that "Real life had never started".
Once Alice had understood this she rapidly came across many misinterpreted beliefs and began the process of updating them. These misinterpreted beliefs only came to the surface after she had worked through her empowering beliefs and her limiting beliefs. In the light of this work it became necessary to revisit and in some cases update her empowering beliefs. "It's great that I still look young" had taken on a new meaning.
There is a definite and designed process to the belief audit. It is a spiral of identifying beliefs peeling them back, checking them, and aligning them so that you can be, do and have whatever you want and you might even find a new purpose to your life.
This article originally appeared in issue 16 (Summer 2009) of Rapport magazine.