Posts tagged: future

I Have My Limitations

What is life coaching? What does it mean? How can it help?

A seagull flies over the incoming tide

Happy New Year 2016

Three times this week I have met lovely people on the beach and been asked about coaching: what is it; how do I work; what does it mean?

This morning, because of another conversation elsewhere (on Facebook), this is my answer…

(It might be different on other mornings)

 

I have my limitations.

I believe that what I believe is just belief
and I believe that this belief is enough
and I believe that being enough is me.

Do I have hope, purpose and love?
Yes I have hope, purpose and love
because I have something greater than all of these.

Can I help you find hope, purpose and love?
Can I help you believe?

I have my limitations.
I can only hold up a mirror
a mirror so ancient is shows you your past and beyond
so ancient it shows you a future where you can believe
so ancient it shows you belief is just a belief
that being who you are being is being enough.

That you are greater than all of these.

How’s your timeline?

How do you see past, present and future?

How do you see past, present and future?

Negative Capability

slanting horizon

 

 

 

 

 

 

tide

bluster and tide
dawn
harry and chafe

rock pool and tide
sun
scour and comb

strandline and tide
gull
rope shell and line

river and tide
night
starless and black

rock fall and tide
moon
roll and return

recall and tide
thought
mind and remind

 

Negative Capability and Coaching

John Keats used the term negative capability to describe the artist’s receptiveness to the world and its natural marvel, and to reject those who tried to formulate theories or categorical knowledge. In a letter to his brothers he explained it as being, ” when a man is capable of being in uncertainties, mysteries, doubts, without any irritable reaching after fact and reason.” Keats was talking about the artist’s ability to be simply receptive without prejudgment in order to be open to that which we don’t yet know.

For me this is a perfect description of the role of a narrative life coach and of the NLP Practitioner.  When we accept that our view of life is, necessarily, limited, and that there are possibilities of which we are unaware we open the doors of our perception to new, unguessed at futures.  This is a process of letting go.

Coaching can help us let go of whatever has been holding us back. Without realising it, we tend to become attached to limitations which we have created for ourselves.  

Often we develop these tendencies in order to protect ourselves from something and than practise them over and over again until they become ‘second nature’.  In other words they continue to drive us long after we are aware of them and long after they are actually helpful.  In fact they often become very well hidden barriers to our success.

Coaching can help you reach that state of mind; that negative capability, where it is possible to see that the seemingly impossible can be within reach.

 

national poetry writing month 2013

 

 

It’s day 25 on National Poetry Writing Month and today’s prompt suggested writing a ballad.  I have enjoyed writing ballads in the past and was happy to give it a go today but each attempt left me feeling frustrated.

It was as if the ballad form was getting in the way of the poem that was waiting to be written.  i had no idea what i wanted to write about and so I called upon my own state of negative capability, trusting the process of writing ‘without any irritable reaching after fact and reason’.  The poem above was what wanted to be written!

  

Tell Your Own Fortune

 national poetry writing month 2013
Day 21 of National Poetry Writing Month

The challenge: re-write Frank O’Hara’s Lines for the Fortune Cookies.

 

Fortune Cookie Lines Recreated

You were always perfect, today, more perfect than yesterday, tomorrow…

You will have a future you have not even dreamed of

Everyone you ever meet will be a familiar stranger

Whatever you write will be right but may be left until the left has righted itself

Please contact the person whose contact you have been avoiding

You will never know RLS and KB and many more besides

Relax a little

Your first efforts will necessarily lead to your greatest achievement

Wherever you go will be the place to be

Your dreams have a lyrical quality which only you can translate

It is up to you to fill in the gaps

Who do you think you are? It turns out that’s who you will be.

You think your life is on a downward spiral but life is upside down

Something will happen

That’s not a pain in the neck, it’s stargazing

I realise you know all this but did you know you knew?

Whenever you wear white I know all’s right in your world

The next person you don’t speak to might have an intriguing proposal

A lot of people in the room wish they were you.

Have you been to those classes yet?

At times a glance at your watch may be misconstrued

What would you do if you didn’t have to do anything?

If you were a prisoner here, how would you escape?

Eat, drink, and self-authenticate

Put yesterday behind you

Whatever has been stopping you has stopped.

 

What has all this got to do with Narrative NLP and Life Coaching?

digital thought womanIf you keep doing what you’ve always done, you will always get what you’ve always had.  

In order to transform your experience, you need to do something that will feel strange.  The moment of confusion that the unfamiliar triggers is the moment when something new is beginning to seem possible.

Take any of the lines of the poem and treat it as if it were true.  When ‘A lot of people wish they were you‘ is true, what does that say about you? Now what happens when you see yourself living that as true? Does it feel unfamiliar?  Good, you are experiencing a new perspective.

Try another one; ‘Please contact the person whose contact you have been avoiding‘. That has to be unfamiliar; and what difference does it make?

Now think of something that has been holding you back and consider ‘Whatever has been stopping you has stopped‘. That’s the point of Narrative NLP.  It helps you reach the point at which you know that whatever has been holding you back has stopped so you can let it go.

 

Making a Fresh Start

bright sky after rain

Each morning we wake up to a choice; do we dwell on the past we know or look forward to a future that we can’t predict?

It’s sounds simple but that doesn’t make it easy. If we choose to focus on a future full of unknown possibility, it might feel like taking away some security.

Sometimes it’s that feeling of security, feeling safe, that holds us back. When you choose to let go of the past you open up the future and discover a sense of freedom, right here, right now.  You may feel a little dizzy; it’s unfamiliar so it feels strange, and that’s perfect.

Life coaching with Narrative NLP offers you a safe place in which to explore possibilities that, until now, you haven’t allowed yourself to consider.

 

national poetry writing month 2013

 

 

I wrote this morning’s poem for National Poetry Writing Month with a couple of old beliefs trying to reappear in my head;

You can’t write poetry to order” and

If you write from someone eles’s prompt, it’s not really your own work“.

I decided to go ahead, look at a prompt from the NaPoWriMo site, and write something anyway. Here’s the result.

Today
when I wake up
I will remember dreams
and know that they are yesterday’s
remains.

A Personal Singularity

where past, present and future are collapsed togther we create a unique momentNarrative NLP = an experience in the moment + freedom from the hold of an acknowledged past + a future of unexpected possibility

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