Posts tagged: love

I Have My Limitations

What is life coaching? What does it mean? How can it help?

A seagull flies over the incoming tide

Happy New Year 2016

Three times this week I have met lovely people on the beach and been asked about coaching: what is it; how do I work; what does it mean?

This morning, because of another conversation elsewhere (on Facebook), this is my answer…

(It might be different on other mornings)


I have my limitations.

I believe that what I believe is just belief
and I believe that this belief is enough
and I believe that being enough is me.

Do I have hope, purpose and love?
Yes I have hope, purpose and love
because I have something greater than all of these.

Can I help you find hope, purpose and love?
Can I help you believe?

I have my limitations.
I can only hold up a mirror
a mirror so ancient is shows you your past and beyond
so ancient it shows you a future where you can believe
so ancient it shows you belief is just a belief
that being who you are being is being enough.

That you are greater than all of these.

Through the Eyes, Ears, Nose and Fingertips of a Child – How Poetry can Set You Free

children jumping




Girls and boys come out today

see and smell 
touch and hear and feel
a couple of trees
a neglected hedge
a skyful of reeling birds
the after-rain air
the drip of a drop from a bud
the calls of an owl in love
the squelching or crunching or crack underfoot
the tickles, the pongs, the screeches and songs
the lumpy jumpy crawly things
the water the sap the blood

in the mud
in the grass
in the rain
in the tractor rut in the lane
in the park under a slide
on a pavement lit in the dark
by a blue puddle of moonlight

While foxes bark and Jack Frost bites
owls hoot at the moon
hedgehogs swim and spiders spin
frogs leap and croak and spawn
so when you wake
be sure to take
a look in the pond on the lawn

The world can be sticky or stony or mossed
it is damp by turns with dry
wind can be cool or warm and wet
time can stand still or fly
when you watch and wait for clouds to change
or for rainbows after the rain
listen for cuckoo
look for a hare
listen for lark
look for the dark
or wait for the rain again

Walk in the light bright world for a while
feel the touch of the sun
find leaves and stones and waterfall
now that something new has begun


national poetry writing month 2013National Poetry Writing Month 2013
Day 22 is Earth Day

The first Earth Day was celebrated in 1970 and is now celebrated internationally.
The challenge – write a poem in keeping with Earth Day.


Poetry and Life Coaching with Narrative NLP

One of the most inspiring ways of looking at life is to experience it as a child again, at a time before the first inklings of negativity have made a mark.  It may sound difficult to believe, but we can get back there.

Of course know that we are adults we can look back and see times in our childhood when something, and it is often love, seems to be missing. 

How would it be if, whatever you believe was missing in your childhood, you could go back now and give it to the younger you? What difference would it make to the child? And what difference would that make to you growing up with this new experience no longer missing, but present in your life as you matured? Imagine the difference it could make to how you feel right now.

The good news is that our brains don’t really know the difference between imagination and reality and imagination is always more powerful. So imagine yourself having had the childhood you would wish for yourself and notice the difference.

Writing this poem was a wonderful experience of splashing in puddles, pushing sticks into frogspawn and feeling the sun on my back.  It was exactly like being there again now.  I know there is still work to be done on it, and the best bit is that each time I revisit the poem, I will be revisiting my childhood.


Best Day of my Life

A ray of sunlight through snowy treesI enjoyed a beautiful walk in the snow early this morning.

One of the best things about the walk was the sound of children’s laughter.  One child in particular caught my attention.  She was probably four or five years old and was looking up the hill where older children and adults were sledging and throwing snowballs.  She turned to her mother, who was recording the scene on her ‘phone, and said “best day of my life”.

This got me thinking.  I had already experienced several ‘happy flashbacks’ as I heard and felt the snow crunching under my feet, tasted the icy freshness, and watched families playing together.   I remembered walking in the snow with my mum and the smell of her coat as it became damp with snowflakes, shoveling snow from the path with my dad,  and watching our chalked hopscotch disappear as the pavement turned white.

There’s no doubt in my mind that happy memories are good for us; they strengthen positive aspects of our life story, and one happy memory can give us access to more.  When our storytelling self moves in a positive direction,we are more likely to make further positive discoveries which will in turn nurture this life-enhancing trend.

Often my clients find it difficult to get started on the pathway to happy memories. Exclamations such as:  “I can only remember being criticised”; “No-one ever praised me”; I was always in the wrong” arise more easily than recalling words of encouragement, praise or love.

And then I thought of her mum’s ‘phone, and the video that this 5 year old will be able to play and replay, revisiting an experience of joy, love and excitement; “The best day of my life” at the click of a mouse or a touch on a smart phone.  This generation is already the most photographed and recorded of all time.

I wonder whether repeated viewing of milestones and memories will give these young people much easier access to positive narratives that can nurture their future and make experiences of joy, encouragement and love a more prominent part of their view of the future.

It’s a possibility.

War and Peace

The planet is suspended in a drop of oil

It’s all so arbitrary: war and peace; love and understanding; fear and loathing.

The view depends so much on where you stand. How would it be if, just for a moment, you stood somewhere unfamiliar?

You may see something different; something that you had never seen before although, having seen it now, you realise that it has always been there, just gone unnoticed.

What difference does this make?

Many differences might be possible and, for me, there is one that occurs everytime I experience this shift in perspective. it is both a feeling and an understanding.

A different view is always possible. Fear and loathing or love and understanding? War or peace?

When we make a conscious choice life feels less arbitrary.

Try standing somewhere unfamiliar.

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