Posts tagged: success

How hard have you been trying?

The target seems to keep moving

There is no point in trying

If you think you have tried everything but nothing has worked, the one thing you probably haven’t tried is to let go of trying. It’s more difficult than you might think.

From childhood, well into adulthood, we are bombarded by messages about trying.

second chances are only for those who are not afraid to try again

try, try. try again

“If at first you don’t succeed”; If at first you don't succeed, try, try, try again“So, try harder”; “Second chances are only for those who are not  afraid to try again”; “Try, try, try again”.  
We’ve all heard it many times and in many contexts and so it’s not surprising that, at some level,   most of us believe it.

But let’s think about it differently for a moment…  

 

What is the presupposition of the word ‘try’?
             “As long as you try your best, no-one can ask for more.”
             “Try not to…”
             “I’ll try.”

Don’t all these ‘trying’ phrases imply the likelihood of failure?

I suggest it’s time to let go of trying. Either do something or don’t do it. Trying; trying harder; and trying even harder will sap your energy and can lead to a sense of failure.

Maybe it’s true, maybe, in spite of everything we have been led to believe, there really is no point in trying.

What could you do instead?

Negative Capability

slanting horizon

 

 

 

 

 

 

tide

bluster and tide
dawn
harry and chafe

rock pool and tide
sun
scour and comb

strandline and tide
gull
rope shell and line

river and tide
night
starless and black

rock fall and tide
moon
roll and return

recall and tide
thought
mind and remind

 

Negative Capability and Coaching

John Keats used the term negative capability to describe the artist’s receptiveness to the world and its natural marvel, and to reject those who tried to formulate theories or categorical knowledge. In a letter to his brothers he explained it as being, ” when a man is capable of being in uncertainties, mysteries, doubts, without any irritable reaching after fact and reason.” Keats was talking about the artist’s ability to be simply receptive without prejudgment in order to be open to that which we don’t yet know.

For me this is a perfect description of the role of a narrative life coach and of the NLP Practitioner.  When we accept that our view of life is, necessarily, limited, and that there are possibilities of which we are unaware we open the doors of our perception to new, unguessed at futures.  This is a process of letting go.

Coaching can help us let go of whatever has been holding us back. Without realising it, we tend to become attached to limitations which we have created for ourselves.  

Often we develop these tendencies in order to protect ourselves from something and than practise them over and over again until they become ‘second nature’.  In other words they continue to drive us long after we are aware of them and long after they are actually helpful.  In fact they often become very well hidden barriers to our success.

Coaching can help you reach that state of mind; that negative capability, where it is possible to see that the seemingly impossible can be within reach.

 

national poetry writing month 2013

 

 

It’s day 25 on National Poetry Writing Month and today’s prompt suggested writing a ballad.  I have enjoyed writing ballads in the past and was happy to give it a go today but each attempt left me feeling frustrated.

It was as if the ballad form was getting in the way of the poem that was waiting to be written.  i had no idea what i wanted to write about and so I called upon my own state of negative capability, trusting the process of writing ‘without any irritable reaching after fact and reason’.  The poem above was what wanted to be written!

  

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