Posts tagged: techniques

Secrets of the NLP Masters by Judy Bartkowiak

 50 techniques to be exceptional

Metal door in stone wall with NLP CREW graffittiPrompted by my own curiosity and enthusiasm for exploration – described by Judy Bartkowiak as ‘key drivers of NLP’ – I opened this book enthusiastically, and I wasn’t disappointed.

 I like what I think of as ‘Pick and Mix’ books; books that can be read with both an open mind and, simultaneously, a mind ready to gather information relevant to my life and work; books that can teach me something fascinating. This book fits the bill perfectly.

 It is a book for everyone with an interest in change, overcoming obstacles or achieving goals. For the NLP practitioner the book is full of prompts and reminders alongside new perspectives on techniques you will already be using. For newcomers it is a comprehensive and readable explanation of NLP’s powerful insights into how NLP can make a real and lasting difference to your life. If you have children, or work with children, you will find much here to throw light on strategies and techniques that work well with young people.

Of course you can read ‘Secrets’ from beginning to end, it is interesting, informative and well written, but you can also flick through and find the part most relevant to your current experience.

Its style, organisation and layout make it stand out from many of the NLP technique books I have encountered. I particularly like the chapter numbers down the right hand edge meaning that you can open the book at any page and know immediately where you are.

Each chapter begins with a selection of well-chosen quotations from people generally acknowledged to be the ‘NLP masters’ such as Gregory Bateson, Sue Knight, Virginia Satir, Tony Robbins, and others from different contexts like Albert Einstein, Carl Jung and Helen Keller.

 ‘A few well-chosen words at just the right time can transform a person’s life’ Joseph O’Connor 

Repetition – so often the missing ingredient in books which set out to help us learn – is used with a light touch so that you don’t need to flick back through the book to find that neat ‘how to’ of a technique. At the end of each chapter you will find ‘Putting it all together’ and I suggest that if you read these first in the light of the chapter heading you will know how directly a particular chapter will speak to you.

If there was a single addition that would improve Secrets of the NLP Masters for me it would be an index. Children, beliefs, and goals, for instance, appear throughout the book and sometimes it would be helpful to be able to find them all.

The book ends with an Appendix perfectly placed to sum things up and be a readily accessible, and very visual, reminder of these two keys to being exceptional: The filters through which we make our own peculiar sense of external events and the logical levels which model the context in which it all takes place.

Knowing your purpose facilitates exceptional behaviour and if your behaviour disappoints you in any way then re-examine it in the light of your purpose. You could do well to take this book with you on the journey.

front cover of the book

From present state to desired state via stories

A little boy bites his nails while adult lives are dominated by irrational but all-encompassing fears.

I’ve been watching LinkedIn conversations in coaching and NLP groups with interest recently. Many of the questions asked there revolve around the selection of techniques to address specific problems.  Questions along the lines of “Any suggestion for nail biting in a 6 year old?”; “How do you approach phobias?” and “I have a 30 year old client who is afraid of driving over bridges, what would people recommend?”

These questions are all about real people experiencing real difficulties, but the focus is on the problems.

Interestingly I have been working with two clients looking for the same outcome; “I just wish I had more confidence”.

With the first I found myself working with her internal dialogue, meta-positioning conversations both with herself and others, and re-generating positive messages she may have forgotten, disregarded or ignored in the past.

With the second, a single piece of timeline work released him from the hold of an experience that dated back to before he started school.

These were my NLP structured, intuitively accessed pathways for their journeys from present state to desired state and both were narratively influenced. Their present state view of themselves had been strongly informed by power they had inadvertently given to their “lack of confidence”. One of the many possibilities released by our conversations was that they could have been confident since childhood if they had picked up different messages.

Once these messages reappeared from wherever they had been hidden, overlooked or disbelieved, they began to gain strength.

Both clients have reported significant changes in their own view of themselves and both are exploring and nurturing their new confidence.

Narrative NLP is not about the problems. It is about the story you have been telling yourself.

So my answer to the technique questions is always the same; I don’t know what I will say or do until I have listened to your story.

 

 

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