Posts tagged: try

How hard have you been trying?

The target seems to keep moving

There is no point in trying

If you think you have tried everything but nothing has worked, the one thing you probably haven’t tried is to let go of trying. It’s more difficult than you might think.

From childhood, well into adulthood, we are bombarded by messages about trying.

second chances are only for those who are not afraid to try again

try, try. try again

“If at first you don’t succeed”; If at first you don't succeed, try, try, try again“So, try harder”; “Second chances are only for those who are not  afraid to try again”; “Try, try, try again”.  
We’ve all heard it many times and in many contexts and so it’s not surprising that, at some level,   most of us believe it.

But let’s think about it differently for a moment…  

 

What is the presupposition of the word ‘try’?
             “As long as you try your best, no-one can ask for more.”
             “Try not to…”
             “I’ll try.”

Don’t all these ‘trying’ phrases imply the likelihood of failure?

I suggest it’s time to let go of trying. Either do something or don’t do it. Trying; trying harder; and trying even harder will sap your energy and can lead to a sense of failure.

Maybe it’s true, maybe, in spite of everything we have been led to believe, there really is no point in trying.

What could you do instead?

Trying to Find a Way Out

At the heart of the maze lies a problem

Looking for a Way Out
Sometimes we find ourselves not knowing which way to turn. By allowing ourselves to consider different directions for our thoughts, we create new perspectives, find new pathways and allow possibilities to appear where none seemed to exist.

 

Acceptance
By accepting the specifics of a situation we can often identify a hint of the direction in which an answer might lie. The ‘W Questions’ can be a good starting point: Who, what, when, where, why. Ask yourself;
       Who is with me when this happens?
       What do I do specifically?
       When and where does it happen?
       Why does it happen?
Once you have the answers to these questions, consider what is possible for you to change. Even one small change in your thoughts, behaviours or actions can trigger further changes leading you in a new direction.         

 

Trying and Trying Harder 
The word ‘try’ is defined as ‘to make an attempt’ or to strive’. Both definitions imply the use of energy but not achievement. When we think of trying we often infer that we will not succeed. Trying harder suggests doing more of the same and if you keep doing what you’ve always done, you always get what you’ve always had. Replace ‘try’ with ‘do’ or ‘be’ and notice the difference.

 

A Part of Myself with Special Needs
Within the problem is a clue to something you need. By feeling for any emotional associations you may be experiencing you can identify what you need.  Identifying and giving yourself what you need can often be the answer.

 

Hear the message in a problem
What aspect of yourself is crying out for attention or has gone unnoticed, overlooked, forgotten or denied? Allowing a problem to be a pointer in this way can help you find a new direction where you might stumble across an unexpected opportunity for change.

 

Denial
Well if you were refusing to accept that there is a problem you probably wouldn’t be reading this post! Denial rarely leads to new possibilities and it’s new possibilities that make a difference.

 

Avoidance 
Choosing to ignore a problem can sometimes seem like a good way of dealing with it but of course this allows it to persist and its effect and influence spread. A different pathway is more likely to result in your discovering a way out.

 

Metal door in stone wall with NLP CREW graffittiSomething I haven’t thought of yet
There are always possibilities that haven’t yet occurred to us. Being curious and open minded, looking up and beyond ourselves are habits and practices worth nurturing because this is where we discover that the possibilities really are endless. 

 

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